Letter to a Young Social Worker

As I started packing this afternoon, I found a folder from my last semester as an undergraduate social work student that contained a journal assignment. The week before graduation, our professor asked us to write a letter to a young social worker who was just beginning her field placement.

Even though it is obviously huge part of my life, I don't blog much about what I do. But in honor of Social Work Month, I'm sharing this old letter. I hope it reminds you to hug your favorite social worker. If your favorite social worker happens to be me, I also like gift cards to the Home Depot.

Dear young social worker,

If you are like me, this letter finds you chomping at the bit to begin your field placement. You've done your reading, passed your tests, and written pages and pages of navel-gazing "self exploration essays." If you have to read or write the words "individuals, families, groups, organizations and communities," all strung together in a row one more time, you might scream. Because you know, like I knew, that you started this journey because you wanted to go and actually do something.

If you are like me, your heart is built a little different than most. It cares a lot. It feels burdened for justice. It is restless for change. People probably call you tender-hearted or remark that you have a big heart. Some may even describe it as bleeding. In any case, it is unique and undoubtedly one of your best qualities.

If you are like me, please heed this caution: social work is going to break your heart some times. I wish I could warn you more specifically, but we are all vulnerable to individual kinds of heartbreak. There may be days when you feel small or your paycheck feels small. Days when you can't see any progress or days when it feels like no one can see you. You may you watch your work seemingly unravel before you.

Your heart will break because this work that you do is incredibly difficult. Did someone forget to tell you that? Or, if you are like me, did you just not listen? 

It isn't for everyone. Undoubtedly, strangers have said to you, "I could never do that." Maybe you will try it and learn that you can't and that is okay. But most likely you will find that even though it is hard, you love it.
 
You will be reminded that you love it at least once a day. You will see little bits of light springing up all around you. If you hang in there long enough, you will witness the flow of the universe moving towards restoration. Wounds healed. Old made new. Captives freed. Lowly lifted and last made first.

Remember as you go about your work that the change you participate in is sacred. Honor it by taking pride in you what you do. Be grateful for the people you meet and revere the stories they let you take with you. 

Take heart,
Kassidy





 

We're Buying a House!

 

We have a contract on this sweet little house and if everything goes according to plan, we'll be homeowners by April! I'm just as surprised as you are.

We were not planning on buying a house for another year or two. But the more we thought about, talked about it, and prayed about it, the more sense it made.

We started researching neighborhoods, which meant people-watching at brunch and then going to open houses to see what our budget would get us in different parts of town. We also spent an insane amount of time looking at real estate websites and DVRed every episode of Property Virgins.

After church a few weeks ago, we decided to drive by this one house we saw online...

And I fell in love! I could not believe this neighborhood. There is a cute little park just around the corner that was full of families, a running trail that at the end of the street that goes all the way to the lake. It is a historic district with rolling hills and big trees. When I think about driving up to the house, it plays in slow motion.

Our realtor showed it to Derek while I was at work, and then took both of us on Saturday. This was the only house we really looked at together. My only regret is that we didn't get the chance to house hunt long enough to pretend like we were on HGTV.

"My biggest must have: MAN CAVE!"

"I don't know about it being right next to that school. Children are sooooooo loud."

"Honey, look at this closet! It's huge AND IT'S ALL FOR ME!"

"It's a nice house, but I really don't like how the neighbors can see us. I feel like they are right on top of us. We will probably need to install a 15' fence."

One thing we learned from watching so much HGTV was that if you have a small budget and you want to be in a great neighborhood, you are going to have to compromise. As we looked at houses, it almost became a game. "This house is great AND it's affordable," I would think. And then,"What is wrong with it?"

It was always something. Maybe it had an entirely concrete backyard. Maybe there was only one tiny closet in the entire house. Maybe the next door neighbor kept three shopping carts in his front yard.

In the case of our house, the answer is one bathroom...One very pink bathroom.

Across from the potty, there is a built in pink and blue tile vanity. I can't imagine why they wouldn't want to show that amazing feature online!

We have plans for the bathroom...and for the flooring in the sunroom...and for the landscaping...and for knocking down some walls...What have we gotten ourselves into?!

Even though it's going to be a lot of work, we are so grateful to have found a home we love and to be in the position to make it ours. I'll post more pictures and details as we get closer to closing.

 

Year in Review

It's that time of year when people write reflective blog posts. Here is mine.

2012 began badly. Derek was laid off in January and when I think about that day it still makes me frown. I remember feeling very worried. Specifically, I wondered how our marriage would adjust to the new circumstances. We are an incredibly blessed little family and going through something sad and stressful like that was just uncharted territory. I pictured disagreements about money, yelling, and living off of beans.

Happily, I can report that none of these things happened. I did eat some beans but it was because I like them. 

Much credit goes to the support we have gotten from our families and friends. A lot of anxiety diminishes when you remember that there are people who won't let you crash and burn.

Derek handled the whole situation so admirably. After a very brief pity party and some prayer, we had a plan. He studied for his GMAT, got all his applications in and started on his MBA in June. He made great grades, landed an excellent internship, and kept our home running smoothly. I can count on one hand the times I went to a grocery store in 2012 and we always have chips and salsa. It's heaven.

Through all of 2012, I've remained happily employed and that is certainly a blessing. I'm grateful to wake up everyday and do something that I feel called to do and that provides (just barely) for me and my family. Being a social worker means that there are certainly many rough days, but never once do I wonder, "Does what I do matter?" It's an honor to be invited into my neighbors' homes and witness families getting better. I'm also excited to be a part of a new project at work that is a chance to serve more of the "last and least" which is a particular passion of mine.

In April, we joined a church. It's called Munger Place Church and we love it. I miss it when we are out of town and I want people to come with me. That's how I know it's love.

In 2012, we really got comfortable being Aunt Kass and Uncle Derek. Our niece was born in late November of 2011, so we this year we watched her grow from a little snuggle bug to a funny, beautiful, toddling one year old.




Three weeks ago, our nephew was born. He is just the sweetest little guy. It's such a precious thing to watch your goofy brothers become goofy dads. Our nephew is extra cool because he lives right down the street. There are many chances to give and receive some baby love.

 

Maddie had a great year. Derek is home during the day. I am home in the evening. Every day she gets a walk. Some days she gets a green bean. What more could a pup want?

A Baby Bird, that's what.

 


Santa, or a stork, or Derek's mom left a tiny plush bird in her Christmas stocking. Ever since, Baby Bird has given Maddie's life restored meaning. Though Maddie has been fixed and struggles with mental health issues that would make her an unlikely candidate for adoptive parenting, against such insurmountable odds, she became a mother in 2012. Her days are filled with nudging Baby Bird with her nose, giving Baby Bird baths with her tongue and carrying Baby Bird from room to room. Proof that there is no wrong or right way to be a family.

The year may have started badly, but it got better. More than anything, I think I learned that our love is big enough to handle tough times and unexpected changes. Which is good because these things happen to everyone eventually. We plan on being married for a very long time. That means that over the years there will be losses, and surprises, and hiccups, and doubts, and disagreements, and what have yous. And we will be just fine. There is a lot of love here.

Wishing you and yours much of it in the coming year!

Ten

Ten years ago, a sweet skinny freshman Derek stopped me in the main hall of Lowery Freshman Center and changed my life. He said, "I know everyone probably told you I was going to ask you this, but will you be my girlfriend?"

Everyone did tell me he was going to ask me that. We were freshmen after all.

One

 Two

(This was the year that Derek's family moved away to Florida. The night Derek told me, it broke my heart. I was fifteen, but on some level I just knew that we were supposed to be together.

I don't have many pictures of the year we were apart. On my sixteenth birthday, my parents told me that Derek was moving back to Allen. I do have pictures of that.)

Three

 Four

 

Five

 

Six

 

 

Seven

 

Eight

Nine 

 

 Ten

 

When wrote our vows for our wedding we included the line, "You are an incredible blessing to me, and I will be grateful all the days of my life." As I look at the pictures of us over the years that is exactly how I feel.

These past ten years have been a blessing that was completely undeserved. Even before we started dating, Derek was just sort of there all along. One day, even though I was awkward as the day is long, he decided he loved me. Then he just never went away.

I will be grateful everyday for getting to grow up loved like that. It let me maintain a tender heart and be trusting and hopeful. I had a friend to share everything with. Above all else, it taught me about grace. As long as I live, I don't think I will ever get my head around the way that God loves us. But having an earthly example of what it is like to be loved faithfully and for no good reason helps. Is it perfect? Of course not. God always unloads the dishwasher.

It is a dim reflection. Like in 1 Corinthians, "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully." I know in part what it is like to be greatly loved. Learning to accept it, give it back, and share it helps me to better understand the abundant grace that we will someday know fully. And for now the task is to keep trying to be a better reflection, year by year.

Vacation: Part Two

During the second half of our vacation, we mostly just ate things because that my favorite thing to do on vacation. Or any day of the week really. I told Derek that some year when I am an old woman, I would like to receive a scrapbook of all the pictures he has ever taken of me and food. The ones from this trip are sure to bring back some happy memories.

On Wednesday, we went to Gruene for dinner at the Gristmill and dancing at Gruene Hall.

That is half of an entree at the Gristmill because Texas is crazy. I learned that if a man has chicken fried steak for dinner, it makes him very happy and his odds of dancing with you later triple.

 

It was rockabilly night and the band was fantastic. If you have never been to Gruene Hall, I highly recommend. Even on a Wednesday night it was the place to be. There were the two little old ladies who did not stop dancing the entire time. I kind of wanted to join them, but they were definitely too cool for me.

On Thursday, we went on an epic barbeque road trip. After reading up on places in the barbeque edition of Texas Monthly, we discovered that 3 of the top 5 were within an hour of Wimberley. 

First stop, City Market in Luling.

I'm just going to come right out and say it. This place was the best one of the three. Sorry if that kills some of the suspense.

You walk in and you want to chew the air. It smells so good. In the back there is a separate room, a holy of holies of sorts, and the windows and door are brown from smoke. Inside there are pitmasters who look exactly like you think they should: burly, bearded, oldtimers. 

We got ribs, brisket, links and bread. The pickle and onions were just for me. No plates. But there was sauce, which isn't true of the other places.

There were also no forks, so that is Derek cutting sausage with double knives.

 

Words cannot express how much we liked it, so that picture will have to do. And then I ate a praline that was made by someone's grandma.

 

 

This is a movie theater in a little town near Luling. We drove past it because it seriously looks like a tractor dealership. A matinee movie was the only activity we could handle on such full tummies.

Second stop, Smitty's in Lockhart.

That barbeque has been happening in that building for over a hundred years.

 

 

 The business side happens here. Obviously.

 The food was very very good, but our least favorite of the three.

 But the building was the cutest.

Last stop, Kreuz Market also in Lockhart.

This is the only picture we have. It's my barbeque smirk.

 

The building was new and large which was kind of weird for it's location. The brisket had a great char, but they were out of ribs so it's hard to judge. Kreuz earned points for having German potatoes and ice cream sandwiches. 

We got a little lost on the way home and ended up on the prettiest dirt road drive.

 

 

 

On Friday we had a lot of hammock time and I finished reading Freedom by Jonathan Franzen. I like to jump on a trend about two years late.

 

We went out for a fancy dinner at a winery and planned all of our future vacations. We may go on more extravagant trips to more exotic locations, but I think this one will have a soft spot in my heart.

 

 

Vacation: Part One

Derek and I are currently on vacation for a whole week down in Wimberley, TX. The timing for a trip worked out well. Derek just completed his second summer term (he got an A!) and I just passed one year of employment in my current job. I think we both deserved a little break and we are grateful for the opportunity to getaway together. Even though its about a month early, we are celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary and 10 years of togetherness. Special shout out to my parents who are letting us stay at their awesome place for free. We couldn't have pulled it off otherwise!

We left Dallas on Saturday and compromised by driving part of the way on 35 and then switching over to the backroads north of Austin. I'm glad we did because otherwise we would have missed this billboard in Liberty Hill.

 

Cracked me up. Did they put one up in 2005 just to honor the spelling champs and then add the football achievements later? Or was there a protest by the spellers when they put a sign up for football in 2007? Either way, we both had a good laugh. Good for you, Panther Spellers and good for you, city of Liberty Hill. Way to r-e-c-o-g-n-i-z-e.

Good friends joined us that evening when we got in and we had dinner at Leaning Pear. If you are ever in Wimberly you must try it, but you have to call ahead and reserve one of the specials because they run out. We were lucky not miss out on the barramundi with hatch chile posole and roasted corn-tomato salsa. Yum.

Jen made homemade cinnamon rolls for us on Sunday and they were heavenly! I am not a baker, but this girl makes me want to try. Everything she bakes tastes like love. Don't believe Nowlin when he says he made them. He lies.

We packed up a picnic lunch and went to Blue Hole park. In all my visits to the hill country, I had never been. I can see now that I was missing out.

The water is spring fed and limestone filtered so it is cool and clear.

 Jen and I went off the swings, too. Promise.

We also played a little paddle ball. Team Nowlin and Kass hold the record at a not-so-impressive 36. But we'll take it.

After Jen and Nowlin left, we spent the rest of the day hanging around the ranch reading books (K), golfing (D), and chasing deer (M).

On Monday, we went in to Austin so Derek could drop me off for my practice LMSW exam. But first we had to go to Foodheads for lunch. Duh.

I'm smiling because delicious sandwiches are imminent.

I passed my practice exam with enough wiggle room to where I won't have to study very much. Being back on campus was fun, especially because I got to hang out with my cousin Kim and vicariously be a student again.

On Tuesday, we went to the river park near the ranch. It was here that we learned our dog Maddie is a lot more adventurous than her size or prissy appearance would suggest. She climbs like a little mountain goat! She drinks from streams! She chooses to walk directly through the bramble! We are still dealing with the burs.

The park is beautiful and stays cool all afternoon so it is a great place to just hang out.

Maddie was more exhausted than I've ever seen her after all of the hiking. As I write this, she is comatose on the couch from which she hasn't moved since finally rousing from her bed in our suitcase at 10 this morning. Poor sleepy pup.

Today we are recuperating. Derek is golfing and Maddie and I are spending lots of time in the hammock reading some Mary Oliver. Maddie really likes Mary Oliver because sometimes she writes about doggies. Then, it's off to Rockabilly night at Gruene Hall!